10 Things that Don’t Happen When We Cut People Out of Our Lives because We Disagree with Them

Monday Musings

Alan Paton Quote on mending

Alan Paton, Novelist and author of “Cry, The Beloved Country”

A number of years ago I wrote an article titled “To My Liberal and Conservative Friends”  (December 15, 2014). It was an open letter to both categories of friends for tolerance and fair-mindedness. It was also a personal declaration and commitment, backed with a promise, that I would not “unfriend” any of them just because I disagreed with them. I said shortly after that article hit the internet that I would write a follow-up piece on why. Somehow, I never got back to it. So here, five years later is that article.

Maybe today, in the political divide that our nation is in, this will be more helpful than it would have been five years ago. I hope so.

10 things that don’t happen when we cut people out of our lives because we disagree with them:

  1. You won’t see any of the effects of your input on the person you have cut off.
  2. You will surround yourself with an echo chamber of “yes men and women.” Never a good situation.
  3. You will miss the fun of seeing people change because of your continuing love and consistency in their lives.
  4. You won’t be as motivated to pray for them because they will move out of sight and mind from you.
  5. You won’t see the end result of all your prayers for a person.
  6. They will be increasingly isolated in their own echo chamber confirming their biases and uninfluenced by other voices.
  7. You will miss the opportunity to allow them to be iron-sharpening iron to your thinking, helping you to know what and why you believe what you believe.
  8. You will miss the opportunity to be corrected in your thinking when your thinking is wrong headed, miss-informed or too saturated with your own limited experience.
  9. You will miss the opportunity to recover a disagreement because of simple misunderstanding or failure to communicate intent.
  10. You will remain estranged and unreconciled to another human being who is made in the image and likeness of God, so that you both might have peace with one another.

How is cutting people out of our lives an expression of tolerance and love for one another and the diversity of God’s creation?

One thought on “10 Things that Don’t Happen When We Cut People Out of Our Lives because We Disagree with Them

  1. I agree you should not cut people off just because you disagree with them. However, I think for one’s health and sanity, one should cut the people that are abusive or are too prideful to listen to or respect you..and show no indication of change in their heart or behavior. I know people (NOT me) who have cut family out of their lives because they were abusive and refused to repent or acknowledge their wrongdoing.


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