ChosenRebel's Blog

Friday is for Heart Songs

Life Dominating Sins :  “What an appropriate term for so much of the stuff we are dealing with in terms of pastoral counseling. ”  It fit so easily the alcoholism of her, the drug addiction of him, the pornographic intensity of that one and the multiple, serial partners of that chronic adulterer, as well as the eating habits of that one that were devastating families we were evangelizing, winning to Christ, and beginning to disciple.

While all that is true, I am coming to see that almost anything can become a “life-dominating-sin.” And the truth is that almost all of us have one (or ten!).

A life dominating sin is a sin that begins to affect the whole of life, all relationships and activities are scheduled around and relegated to less important status. As I finish that sentence, every parent of a teenager instantly recognizes that life-dominating-sins need not be drugs and alcohol, but could easily be a boyfriend/girlfriend, a sport, a computer, a phone, all or any of which can become more important than anything else.

Other issues that seem to travel with life-dominating-sins are a significant level of secretiveness and hiding. Usually the person involved in this kind of behavior is also highly skilled in rationalization and procrastination. They sometimes know they have a problem, but they keep convincing themselves that they can somehow “control it” (Oh the folly of sin), or overcome it without the aid of others or any accountability to others. Often, it is the “others” in the their lives that see the destructive path with greater clarity but seem overwhelmed with what to do to help.

But there is a sense that all sin is life-dominating, not just the “biggies” but every sinful choice is me saying to myself that I have a better idea than God’s will. Ridiculous. But we all do it.

So maybe the place to help your friend or family member who is involved in a life-dominating-sin is to start in our own heart and deal with the sin we find there in genuine repentance and pleading with God for grace and wisdom.

Jesus, as always, said it better. “Take the beam out of your own eye before you go to your brother about the speck in his eye.”

“But,” you say, “a life-dominating-sin really is a beam and not a speck.”

Here’s what I know. When I treat every speck in my life as if were a beam, I am in a much better position to help my brother when he has a speck or a beam in his life.