A Babylon Bee-ish Post (Satire)

Middle Aged Pastor Bucks Hipster Trend and Shaves Beard

Norman Church TowerFree Church pastor, Mortimer Johnson, boldly defied a national trend and shaved off his bushy, full beard and found out he was still relevant. When reached, pastor Johnson, who now desperately needs a tan, said, “I was afraid at first, what with all the young and not so young hipsters sporting beards and taking selfies that I might be considered irrelevant if I didn’t have one myself. But in the end, I decided to risk it.”

What he discovered he says is that the gospel and the Christ he preaches “is still the hope of the world and capable of changing lives.” Not only that, he also discovered that underneath all the tangled mess that once hung below his jaw was a young man still in the prime of life. 

When last seen pastor Johnson, who goes by the name “pastor Mort,” was seen mounting up with wings like an eagle, hard at work in his study waiting on God and working to understand the faith that had once for all been delivered to the saints (Jude 3). A local group of bearded-pastors was considering an intervention to help pastor Mort return to the conformity of their cultural expression of relevance.

P.S. In support of Pastor Mort, I have also shaved.

2 thoughts on “A Babylon Bee-ish Post (Satire)

  1. I find it daunting to consider the rigor of shaving each morning after enjoying the shave free life for 46 years. But maybe it’s time? Maybe for some major milestone like an 80th birthday.


    1. LOL. You’re an original. Some of these preening styling guys who seem to take “selfies” more than they proclaim Christ is who I had in mind. Is that milestone approaching? Be blessed my friend.


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